Many times, I have talked about how I’m (almost) not afraid to travel. I always have thought that my father gave me some kind of traveling gen, and that’s why I’m not concerned to leave alone to visit a new place. I always felt that I could manage myself pretty well, doesn’t matter if it was about transport, food, meeting people or anything else. So, why should I have doubts just before starting my longest trip until the moment? Why now?
I really don’t have an answer yet, and while I was writing, I wasn’t even sure if I’d publish this. But at least, writing helps you think, and make up your mind. In my case, it helps me think in a structured way, and since I like structure, it helps me to ease my mind.
The thing is, I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. Traveling around the world, not knowing where I’ll go next, and trying to make money out of that? Count me in! Knowing that in two weeks, you’ll be sleeping in a different bed, meeting new people and cultures? Where should I sign? But I’ve been questioning myself, during the last days or weeks. The first time was when I realized I had only ten days left in my country. TEN DAYS! That means, ten more days of security, comfort, having at list a vague idea of what’s going to happen the next day, and the day after that. And I’m changing it for something insecure, maybe even a little crazy, but I still want it.
It’s a strange mix of feelings. I remember a lot of people telling me “I’m so jealous! I’d love to do it, I just don’t have the guts”, “That’s so cool, but aren’t you afraid?”, and in my head, the answer is always the same “anybody can do it, it’s just a matter of taking the decision, and there’s no reason to be afraid”. But now, I’m scared. Or at least, I think so. Because there are days I’ve wasted, instead of writing, or preparing my trip. Because you start thinking about what you’re leaving behind. Because you think about the sacrifices you’re making. Because you have no idea of how things will be when you come back, or if you’ll ever come back. Because you don’t know if you’re friends are going to forget you. Because you don’t know if you’ll have to re-adapt to a new life.
But at the end, none of those fears matter. Because that’s how life works. Because there’s no way to know what’s going to happen, and even if we take the most rational decisions, things can go wrong. And also because the best things can come out the most unexpected places. So, although I have those fears, I’ll be taking that plane in two days. And once I set foot out of the airport, or take the first bus or go to the metro station, once I take that first picture, everything’s going to be just as before. Because in that moment, the fear will be gone. It’s always like that, when you’re really passionate for travel. Because of that, I’m smiling again. I fell that emotion again. Because sometimes, it’s enough to remember all you can win, to clear any doubts from your mind. Because of that, I can already finish this post, and finish my luggage for the journey that lies ahead of me 🙂
What about you? Have you ever had doubts or felt afraid before traveling? What have you done to leave them behing? I’d love to see your tips and stories in the comments section 🙂